Troubling communication, frequent quarrels, and emotional distancing are commonly seen problems in Mother – Daughter relationships. Psychologists have done thousands of researches and experiment to get deeper and more precise understanding of this phenomena, to help both sides overcome this issue and go through years of family life without scars and frustrations. Struggles between mother and daughter often leave consequences to both of them, and the issue goes on by daughter transferring her frustrations onto her future child and so on. This specific relationship faces various challenges depending on the stages in life, but here is some useful advice on how to improve it and prevent this circle of bad Mom – Daughter relations running forward in your family.
Learn to communicate properly
People fight because they don’t know how to discuss issues properly. Learn to talk honestly with the primary aim to solve the issue, instead of proving the point. Watch your words. Never assault or attack with personal arguments. Avoid cliché comments such as “When I was your age” and “You’re too young to know anything about life.” Respect your daughter’s attitudes, even if you don’t agree. Let your daughter live up to her actual age, without you imposing wisdom and experience of your life onto her. Keep open the option of agreeing to disagree.
The difference between listening and hearing
Even if you’ve seen it all before when you were at that age, don’t just listen to her waiting for your time to speak. Engage into conversation with a true wish to understand your daughter’s point of view. No one expects you to be Super Mom and read thoughts, but try to spot the underlying emotions beneath the spoken words. It is particularly important if you’re a Mom of a teenager.
Accept the generation gap
Lifestyles, interests, and attitudes truly change over the decades, so it’s normal for you to get confused and find many of your daughter’s aspect of behavior strange. If it turns out to be just a matter of manner and style, without some actual risk for your daughter, let it be. Your way doesn’t have to be the only right way.